I ordered Maddie's first birthday cake yesterday from H-E-B.
I shoulda woulda could have ordered it weeks ago from some fancy bakery - something all-organic grass-fed gluten-free with no food dyes, like any proper Austin crunchy mom would. It's not that I've been putting it off, although I am maybe just a wee bit in denial. It's just that I have been so stinking busy lately that I never found the time.
Wake, dress, traffic. Work. Traffic. Dinner, bathtime, bedtime. Clean, prep, work. Sleep. Repeat. Day in and day out, not a spare second to be found. Of course I had heard that parenting is exhausting. But I more-so thought that just related to the sleeplessness from night-waking babies. Maddie sleeps through the night now, but I'm more exhausted than ever. Our house is messier than ever and my to-do list is longer than ever. One thing I've learned for sure about being a mother, is that is no piece of cake. Not easy as pie. There's no sugarcoating it. It's just the way the cookie crumbles. Ok, I'll stop with the dessert idioms.
I don't know how a year has passed so quickly. It's like I blinked and she was cooing. I blinked again and she was laughing. Closed my eyes for a second longer and she was crawling. Then suddenly it's time to plan a party to celebrate her first year, our first year.
Every day I love her more. With my whole heart, more than I ever knew I could. It's impossible to explain in words that type of love. But every parent knows it! It's bittersweet to think about her first birthday - I'm sad that time is passing so quickly, but at the same time, it is so fun to watch her grow. Every stage is my new favorite stage! She's started doing this thing where she strums her finger on her lips and makes a blub-blub-blub sound... cutest thing ever.
So as I reflect back on this past year, and look forward to the next, I plan to slow down. To stress less, to do less, to enjoy more. Because I know just how quickly the time disappears. It's impossible to have it all - to do it all.
They say you can't have your cake and eat it too. And if that's the case, I'll just plan to eat my cake. I'll serve it up on a paper plate so I don't have to wash dishes, and I won't even mind if the crumbs fall onto our grimy floors. I'll savor every last bite. And the fact that I can share my piece of the pie with Tom and Maddie? Well that's just icing on the cake!
And, of course, I know all too well that the 2nd birthday will be just around the corner and we'll eat cake again!
Happy [almost] birthday, Maddie Grace. I love you so much. How much is so? Way way more than you know. <3