Ahhh, a new year. A fresh start, a new beginning. A clean slate, an open opportunity. Let’s charge into this new year, this new decade, with excitement and enthusiasm and let’s do ALL THE THINGS!
Or... not.
I didn’t come into this new year with any resolutions or any goals, which is unusual for me. I just wasn’t feeling it this time. What I was feeling, was burned out after busy holidays and traveling. I’m not good at spinning plates. Balancing too many plates means one (or more) will come crashing down, or I will come crashing down trying to keep them spinning. Some people are great at managing all the things, but I am easily overwhelmed.
So I've starting saying no to things I would usually say yes to. I’m a perpetual “yes person”. Will you help with meeting? Yes. Can you stay late? Yes. Would you pick up the cake? Sure. Could you volunteer for the project? Yep! Will you be at the event? Always. And if I ever need or want to say no to something, I feel obligated to give a reason or excuse. I can’t because I have a dentist appointment. I wish I could but we’re out of town. I would but Mackenzie has been sick. I can’t because I already have 6 things on my calendar for Tuesday.
Before the holidays, I heard an interesting discussion about saying no to things, and that “No.” is a complete sentence. It doesn’t require an excuse or an explanation. And sometimes even good things need to be turned down in order to leave margin in our lives.
It didn’t resonate with me right away. In fact, I thought, I could never do that. I constantly feel the need to justify my actions to myself and to everyone else (even though no one asked me to). The thought of saying no to a good or reasonable thing without offering a compelling excuse sounded impossible. Until....
Maddie brought home a reading log in her blue folder. Read and record 10 hours in 10 weeks for a free ticket to Schlitterbahn. I instantly felt weighed down by the log. One more spinning plate to balance. So, I threw it in the trash. And then I nearly retrieved it because my goodness, what had come over me!? But I didn’t retrieve it. In fact, I smiled about that piece of paper in the trash and I felt lighter, freer. Of course, I did have to explain to a very disappointed Maddie that I was not going to track and log 60+ books for her to receive a $40 ticket voucher to a water park that she’s too young to really enjoy. But guess what? She got over it. Hasn’t even mentioned it since.
That one small act of defiance felt so liberating, that I decided to try it again. In the past few weeks, I’ve said no to a lot of things that I would normally say yes to, such as:
- an evening volunteer opportunity
- a book club book that didn’t catch my attention
- baking homemade banana muffins (even though it was in my meal plan)
- a holiday party that was giving me anxiety
- social media for a week
- an offer of babysitting on NYE
- a play date after a busy weekend
- multiple birthday parties on the same day
- setting an annual reading goal
- a scholastic book sale flyer
Obviously, none of these are earth-moving events. But the culmination of all of them together has given me fresh air to breathe.
Don’t worry, I’m not just lounging on the couch Netflix binging all day. I have still said yes to many things. It’s just that I’m just saying yes to the most important things. The things that bring me the most contentment or feel the most valuable. And no to the things that feel like a burden, a heavy weight, or a dark cloud on my sunny day.
Are you feeling overwhelmed? Try saying no to something!
