Monday, February 10, 2014

Awkward Encounters: Doctor’s Office Edition

I’m not much for small talk.  I would like to think that I’m “friendly” (I always offer a smile!) but with strangers, I generally like to keep it to a short “How are you? Great! I’m good too. Chilly outside, warmer this weekend...”  But it seems that a big pregnant belly seems to attract converstaion with strangers.  Sometimes it’s nice, like the woman beside me on the plane who gave me some practical advice about pumping when I go back to work.  Maybe a little TMI to discuss with a stranger on a crowded plane, but her intentions were good so I didn’t mind.

Last week, I went to the doctor's office for my glucose test (which, by the way, my drink was lemon-lime flavored and it wasn't that bad!  and I passed the test - whew!)

After checking in, I sat down across from a couple in the lab waiting room.  The woman exclaims, “I love your shirt!  Where did you get it?”  As I peel off layers of coats and scarves, I explain that it’s actually a dress hiding under all of this, and I’m pretty sure I got it from Ross.

Nice people, always pleasant to start the day off with a compliment.
A minute later, the man asks the woman, “Do you see how big her ring is?”  Not a whisper.  Loudly enough for me to hear, purposefully for me to hear.  I have my arms folded across my stomach, so both my Aggie ring and my wedding/engagement rings are visible.  I smile at them and wiggle my fingers.

Woman: “Which one?!”

Man: “The one with the huge diamonds!  I gave Shana a ring even bigger than that. 

Woman: “Oh that’s too big, I woudn’t want that.”


The man gets called back to the lab.  And the woman continues to make conversation.

Woman: “So how far along are you?”

Me: “Almost 7 months!”

Woman: “I’m only four months, but I feel like you!”

She proceeds to take off her layers of coats to display her belly, waiting for my response.  But it isn’t really a big round pregnant belly, it’s sort of just a cushiony, slightly overweight belly. 

What am I supposed to say here!?  Is she wanting me to tell her that her belly is big?  Or should I say, oh you’re barely showing!? 

Me: “Maybe he will be a big boy – do you know what you’re having?”

Woman: *huffs* “Not yet, I’m still waiting on Medicare.” *huffs again*

Me: “Oh, that must be frustrating.”

As a working gal with insurance, I’m not too sure how the Medicare process works, so I really can’t make any conversation around this or relate to her.

Me: “Are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”

Woman: “Well he already has 6 kids – 5 girls and 1 boy.  And I have a boy and a girl”

Me: “Oh my, a full house!  I bet you’ll just be happy with a healthy baby then.”

Woman: “I tell you what, I’m about to go doctor shopping to find me a doctor who will tie my tubes and give him a vasectomy!”

Might come across as a funny joke, but this woman was 100% serious.

Door opens.  “Mrs. Cooper?”

Oh thank God!  I’m terrified of blood, but I think I’d rather be back in the lab with a needle in my arm than hear what would come out of this woman’s mouth next!

Oh the joys of pregnancy :)  More awkward encounters to come soon.

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